Live life fullest - for yourself

My colleague's dad was hospitalised last weekend for heart attack on Friday night. It was due to his smoking at had his arteries blocked and when he was still at hospital, he drank quite a lot of water but didn't urinate that much and even had water up his heart.. she (my colleague) told me his heart is 'damaged' and it takes time to heal and he couldn't drive even after being discharged from the hospital.

She's telling me that this incident made her wonder how life is so fickle. Anything can happen to anyone of us at anytime, no signals, no telling when or where. Her dad is still in the hospital under monitoring and me and my colleague are planning to get blood tests to see if everything's ok with us in terms of blood pressure, cholestorel level, etc etc.. we were talking about how the people nowadays lead hectic lifestyles, it's as if digging our own grave.. into all the 'modern illnesses' - hypertension, stress, mental health level, diabetic.. i had my cases of migraine previously as well.. happened 2 or 3 times already.. i still remembered the first time i had it was when i was in Ozie studying back in 2002 and i guess the weather was too cold until i had migraine on the left (or was it right?) side of my brain.. it was short-lived (the pain) but i was terrified when i had it again when i started working here.. i thought the weather was just too hot as my computer is placed where it gets the afternoon sun directly.. i always get migraine when the weather gets too hot and i'm not in good health, i.e. highly lack of sleep over many many days or weeks, or when i'm under lots of stress from uni work (i study part time)..

I think I should really get myself a blood test though i'm awfully dreadful of syringes and what not.. actually last night while having Bak Kut Teh dinner with my bf's family, we were just talking about getting blood tests at Pathlab and his parents are actually going there this week, and i was also mentioning to my bf 2 days ago that he should get blood test done on himself as he really likes to indulge on really 'harmful' food like high-cholesterol sea food; pork parts etc etc... i'm just worried he might face some health hazards... he told me he really didn't have time at all, owing to his high workload... i can feel his agony coz he told me he's going through stress coz he's constantly feeling there's too many things to be done, with too little time.. and i can really feel him coz i'm going through the exact same thing now..

We bought a photo album each (the huge adhesive free-style type) to arrange all the photos that we took so far and his album will have all his 'past' photos (some with really close shoots with unknown girls damn him) such as the ones with his very hot ex-gf and some with his pals, family and friends.. i've made him agree that we will bring all our photos and do the arranging together this coming weekend and he raised his eyebrow, suspiscious of the fate of his 'forbidden' photos with the girl, but i insisted that we should do this together, just to foster some closeness that i feel is slowly fading.. not because i feel he doesn't love me anymore, but more like how he's under a lot of stress and rather than going out all the time, why not do some activites together that doesn't need a lot of money and we can slowly do it together and enjoy the moment we spend... i've always wanted to sit down and have a nice warm heart-to-heart talk with him, or just let him hold me in his arms and say nothing at all.. or do chores together.. it's a nice earthy feeling.

looking forward to this weekend. hopefully i can have him all to myself without sharing with others like last week. :(