= none =

My mind is blank as of now. I'm in the office, doing nothing coz I've finished everything on my plate.

It's not because I've got nothing to do that my mind is blank. It's because of something I don't know how to let go.

What you wrote in your sms was all true. Finally I realised. Shocked as I am, nevertheless, it came across in a cruel way. Too hurtful I guess.

But then again, I brought all these to myself.

I'm split into half right now.

One side I really feel upset and sad that you have hurt me like that. Your actions and your words pierced through my heart like never before. I wanted to be angry at you for causing me so much pain.

The other side of me said I deserved the way you treated me. Coz i'm such a bad person in many ways. I do not have any right to be upset with you and with what you did or said because I'm a bloody bitch.

I wanted to tell you why I didn't answer your calls. But I'm sick of having to explain myself for every single thing I do. Coz I feel that the more I explain, the more I feel cheap and the more you hate me.

I'm scared to listen to what you have to say to me. Coz it may hurt me once again. Or I may become a bitch and say things that will make you upset once again.

Your sms made me realise that there is nothing else I can say to you. And now i'm forcing myself not to expect anything from you anymore. Not because I do not love you, but because I want to be happy.

Sounds so selfish, right?

But the truth is, you are the one whom I truly wish can be happy.