Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Are you trying to put leopard prints on my laptop???

Just got my laptop back from Teledynamics and I don't like what i'm seeing. Finger marks both in black and white colours covering many spots on top, underneath, keyboard, and.... they're just simply everywhere. I ju st hate it when others just don't practice caution or at least take care of our properties just coz it's not theirs. I've had my laptop for 6 months and not one time i left any finger marks or anything on it, same goes for my mobile phone. My properties are simply too precious for me to bear any form of scratches or whatsoever on it. If i'm gonna display my soft toys or whatever that catches dust easily, i make sure i clean them once a week, else i'm just gonna 'plastic-bag-em-up' and stuff it somewhere and just don't bother.

gave them my laptop to clean some red ants out.. apparently ants love my laptop, for reasons only known to themselves i guess. My techie friends all urged me to get it a good look and clean up a.s.a.p and so i had to put up with a total of 4 PC-less days (I don't consider my desktop usable anymore under the circumstances that it only offers dial-up and that it only had 32MB worth of RAM, 'nuff said) In the end they told me they only identified 2 ants in my laptop, and I told them that's coz i've killed each and every one i saw crawling out of my laptop prior to sending it to them.

Still no news from the interview thingy and it's getting into me, kept telling myself not to have high expectations and take it easy but it's just too unbearable. Maybe I really do need to chill out a bit.

Last Saturday me and my bf attended a friend's wedding dinner and it really made me want to marry someone i love soon. feel the feeling of happiness.. but i can't imagine it coming true for me soon and i am saddened by this very fact..

This weekend i'll be joining my company's annual trip/dinner and we're all geared up for the hopefully fun-filled event! i'd love to swim swim and swim away while I'm there but a bit concerned due to my sideways growing figure that might not fit my swim suit anymore.. yikes....

Thursday, June 23, 2005

The GM interview of the year

Just had the toughest interview of my life so far. All nerve-wrecked prior to my arrival at the place, greeted by a friendly 'escorter' who happens to be one of my interviewer.

First I had to undergo a test which has 3 parts, 2 of which uses the computer and 1 of which is objective-based. The guy then proceeded to ask me 4 questions, afterwhich 3 interviewers (including the friendly guy) run through a language test as well as a so-called 'behavioural' Q & A session. All in all I think everything went on for about an hour or so but all the guys were alright except for one of the chinese guy whom i think was quite arrogant. The thing i remembered vividly was when he asked me about my future career path and I just said that i aim to advance slowly in becoming a manager, something between the lines, and he let out a sneered laugh and said 'that only happens if you're in Hong Kong DisneyLand'. My expression changed right there as I took it as a cynical remark and he continued to clarify that he was just joking. I believed the former but not the latter anyway. All in all, I think I didn't do too well in the tests but the interview went better than the tests, though I know I could've done better.

Anyhow, I told myself if I don't get this it's ok.. it just means I'm not good enough for the job and no reason to despair. I'll be disappointed but life goes on. I'm just glad to see my boyfren after the long interview process and that made such a huge difference. No matter what I know I'll still have him and he's always giving me full support in whatever I do.

So i'll see how it goes, i'm just hoping for the best.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Utterly disappointed - period

Cried on my way back from work. Dad was asking about the relationship between me and my bro, we have been on 'no-talking' terms since this year's Chinese New Year. To me he's just too narrow minded to be my elder brother, too calculative, couldn't let go; and to him i'm just a spoilt brat who has no idea how hard life is out there, always getting everything from my parents, etc..

I've always hated the fact that people are only looking things on the surface and hardly tries to look beneath the skin to see what other ppl are really feeling, their hard times and complications. Just because they never hear our sad stories doesn't necessarily mean we're happy.

I do admit that i'm a person who thinks a lot. Arh plain simple terms i'm a worry wart. But i think i've been facing too much of disappointments and sadness along the way that gave me this 'disease'. Every step i take, i weigh out every single damn thing, a simple thing to others like changing job is like a never ending thinking process for me - impact, risk assessment, changing environment, family considerations, other ppl's mouthpiece, etc etc..

Ever since i took up part time studies i've become a stressed person. I guess ever since i went to australia life has totally changed for me, i've become less happy, more concerns, more pressure, and i don't know what else. Everything seems gloomy for me.

I don't know what to feel right now. On the surface me and my brother are on 'good' terms now. We've just decided to put everything behind us and seal our mouths from all the bad histories that happened. Though relieved that we're talking now, deep down i still feel a huge gap between us - invisible gap that existed due to our strongly differing values on life, expectations, and many things. The only reason I decided to confront him was the fact that I no longer wanted to upset my parents, especially my dad, coz me and my brother are no longer in good terms and it's hurting him deep down. I can really feel it, especially today when he spoke to me about it, although he drank a bit, but i knew he must be hurting inside. I couldn't bear to see my dad who loves me so much, feeling sad coz both his very own children are no longer talking to each other and not knowing when they can make up once again and what future holds for them.

I guess me and my brother lives in two different worlds. I called my boyfren and told him everything, and seems like he is the only one who can really feel my hurt and sadness, sharing the very same thoughts as myself. Suddenly i feel very touched and warm coz i felt like an unwelcomed person in this world and here he is, taking me into his arms telling me everything will be fine and that i still have him now and forever, and he will take care of me. I begin to feel grateful that I still have him and all is not lost.

Thank you honey.. for being there, hearing me out and telling me you're still there. It made me feel there's hope in life once again.

I'm all worn out from crying but i've still got things to do. Tomorrow will be another busy working day - half more stack to go.

Virginity strikes - yikes

Ok, so this is my first post.

What's there to talk about?

Just came back from a well-deserved long holiday(5 days to be exact) to KL and Genting, met up with a close fren who came all the way from China/Australia (she's a chinese currently staying in Australia). Had a really nice gathering, though super-exhausted/tiring. Got to know a fren of hers, whose character comes in a mixture of like and hate feelings. We like him but at the same time we hate him. (we = me and my boyfren). Did i mention that I went there with my boyfren?

Yes, I have a boyfren. But for my blog, I'm going to keep him 'earthed' and 'sealed', well it kinda suits his seemingly "shy" character anyway(Pretentiously shy, that is).

I've still got a loads of backlogs at my workplace and it's driving me crazy. Can't believe this is the price I have to pay for taking 6 working days off. I'm pissed but who cares? It's just me, me and who else but me?

Gonna go catch my weekly dose of Fear Factor.