Sad... and disappointed...

I really don't understand.. I never stopped helping you along the way, all the way... just to realise that you are not even helping yourself.

WHY??!!!???!

It's not that I never told you what to do; it's not that I never reminded you; it's not that I never offered you my help to achieve those that you wanted to do; and I knew well that there are things that I asked you not to do - such as repeating time and again all the mistakes you always make; the very same mistakes over and over again.

I don't understand how you can never learn from past experiences - past mistakes that happened all because of your carelessness and negligence, your ignorance, your taking for granted things will always go smoothly, your assumption that things will never go wrong.

I'm tired. Just like how I told you tonight. I'm tired that I keep on helping you and helping you, yet you screw things up, you let things happen, which, if you were to listen to what I said, will never happen.

I'm really upset, disappointed, and very sad that you never seem to realise the impact you make on myself whenever you do this - not learning from mistakes and always forego my advice - in the end screwing things up - I just felt that all my efforts are just FOR NOTHING. And I don't even know why I still keep on doing what I'm doing, after SO LONG.

I am short-tempered, but all for the right reasons; which for some reason, doesn't seem to be understood by you at all.

Am I just being stupid all this while?

I GUESS SO.

I couldn't let this go. Coz everytime I try to let go, the same thing happens again in future. I really feel hopeless and tired.

I need time to calm myself down. I don't even know why Icried, and why i'm even crying now, since it's not even any BIG of a deal to you at all.

I know you'll never read this. Coz you don't even bother to come here anymore.

It's midnight now and basically I have worn myself out today - doing all my work stuff at home when it's my off day, and I don't even know what I'm trying to achieve.

The thing that hurts me the most is - you never realise how hurt I am inside and only see my ugliness of getting all upset because of your mistake.

Maybe you don't even understand me AT ALL, when all I wanted to do was to open up your shell and get into your heart all these years, but you never let me.

I so wanna YELL right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

I'm so sad................ i'm really hurting inside...... and nobody knows.........................................

:''(